“Who, me?” Nathan blurted out.
He looked up to see a vision. A woman, who less than an hour ago had been a mirage. Nothing but a sexual fantasy, lit by the flickering of a cinema screen. Now in the soft light of a lazily retiring day, Nathan could see her face clearly. Her golden hair caught snowflakes like a garden spider’s web catching falling autumn leaves. The chilly weather had gently bitten her cheeks. And nose… turning them the same pink as a choice cut of salmon.
“You’re making me cold just looking at you” the woman said jokingly.
Nathan looked down at his knocking knees (they were actually knocking!). Were they knocking Because of the cold, or because Nathan was now nose to nose with an unattainable fantasy, who was in his reach? He wasn’t sure.
In the dwindling daylight, the stains on his shirt and trousers were much less obvious.
Thoughts of castration and flagellation evaporated from his mind faster than a sneeze. What good was denying his taste for the central facial feature? He was warped, society would never understand his desire nor would they understand the pain he suffered keeping it secret.
A trip home from this woman would mean nothing to her, but the memories for Nathan would last forever. He glanced left and right quickly, checking to see if anyone from the cinema who had witnessed his sexual seizure was around. Nathan looked into her nostrils and said:
“Yeah, a ride would actually be… helpful.”
“Hop in darlin’!”
Nathan ran around to the passenger side, and eased himself in, careful to keep his arms in front of his sinful stain.
The woman said with an outstretched hand. Nathan quickly threw a hand out and limply shook Barbara’s before replacing it over his disgraceful splotch.
“…And you are…?”
“Oh, I’m Nathan. Pleased to meet you.”
“Likewise.” Barbara said with a wink that cutely crinkled her fabulous nose.
Nathan could feel his plums writhing, but the episode in the cinema had left them unable to respond.
As Barbara checked the mirrors for traffic and started the car back onto the road, nathan took a moment to look around. The car was kind of cluttered. On the back seat there was an esky, several pairs of scissors, pruning shears, and quite a bit leaf litter. Who was this woman?
Nathan’s eyes shot down to see a message appear on Barbara’s phone. It was from someone listed as “BIG MAL” and read:
Can you come round? I really need you.
A lover. Of course! A nasal nymph like Barbara couldn’t come without a hitch. She was glorious, why wouldn’t a man have secured her? Nathan felt awkward and regretted getting into the car. What was he hoping for? This beautiful stranger to submit to his strange fetish and allow him full access to her sublime schnoz?
“That’s my business partner.” Barbara said, as if reading Nathan’s disappointed thoughts. “Gotta swing by work. Do you mind?”
“Umm, not at all” Nathan said – slightly worried.